Don’t be upset, don’t be upset, don’t be upset!
Parenting groups and portals are bending over with entries from young mothers, who are not allowed to enjoy what they enjoyed before by the fatigue and hardships of their first years of motherhood.
Many of them are nervous “good morning” after a sleepless night, constant mess at home, the child’s reluctance to eat and the lack of understanding on the part of the partner and family. Instead of support, they hear out-of-date advice that has nothing to do with their situation. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be that way. There are five rules to try to break this vicious cycle.
First: Take a breath
The sheer volume of responsibilities and stressful situations for mum may seem unmanageable. It is difficult to face them alone, so it is worth engaging the closest people in it – especially your partner, if possible.
For him, these will be moments spent alone with the baby and a way to build his own relationship with the baby. For a woman – a moment to breathe and soothe her nerves.
You can use it to sleep off, call a friend or meet for a coffee. Your mother, mother-in-law, friend or neighbor will certainly come to your aid. Instead of getting frustrated, find a way to relieve yourself partially. Today my friend is leaving the child with you, tomorrow you are leaving with her. In this way, two mothers have a few hours of peace to settle their own matters.
Often times the anger comes violently, leading to an outburst. Before this happens, it is worth talking to your loved ones about what upsets us the most, so that they can react as soon as possible. Understanding emotions, anger, fatigue or disappointment, the partner will be able to take over some of the duties, e.g. shopping.
It’s also a good idea to leave the room when your nervousness is at its peak. It is worth establishing some slogan or gesture that will mean that a break is needed. The partner or grandmother then takes over the baby, and the mother goes to the bedroom to lie down and cool down, or to the bathroom for a quick shower, which will cool down the emotions.
You can also go for a walk, preferably before the outburst of negative emotions. However, it’s important to talk about them, name them, and be straightforward about how we feel.
Third: Forgive me
First and foremost myself. Your baby is crying because his tummy hurts again? It’s not your fault. Your toddler’s digestive system is still immature, so it may happen that he cannot cope with digestion.
Instead of getting upset all over the world and blaming himself or grandma that the little one has eaten something he shouldn’t have again, lie down next to him and massage the baby’s tummy. Your nerves will create a tense atmosphere in the house, which the toddler will also feel.
If the situation happens again at night and you are tired after the last night, after which you hardly slept, talk to your partner before falling asleep so that this time he will get up to the baby. Classical, relaxing music with the sounds of nature or delicate oils that will also calm the baby down will be perfect for evening relaxation.
Fourth: You don’t have to be perfect
Neither mother has to, although each of them feels the pressure that she should be like that. Nonsense. Caring for a newborn or buying a layette for an infant , especially if it is the first child, can be difficult. Don’t be afraid to ask experienced friends for help.
Remember that your home does not compete for the cleanest home in your town, and it doesn’t matter to the little one discovering the tastes of your soups whether they have a pressed body or not. You don’t have to be perfect to be the best mom for your baby.
Don’t you feel like going out for a walk today? Do not go. One day spent at home will in no way affect your child’s rhythm of life. For your well-being – maybe yes.
Fifth: Have your life
Do you like sewing? Or maybe you miss Zumba? Answer yourself honestly, what are the obstacles to doing this? Instead of staying at home all the time and getting nervous about another refusal to go out with friends, give your partner wipes and diapers (preferably high-quality diapers of the Polish brand Bambino), and get ready to go out yourself.
Changing a baby is not as difficult as many men might think, and even the most timid dad can stay for an hour or two with a baby. Having a cookie with a friend, fitness or going to the cinema is not only a pleasure, but most of all it is a change of surroundings and a release of tension.
If you feel that your stress is building up or something has gone wrong again, take the phone or check the repertoire in the cinema. However, if you need a moment for yourself, go for a walk in the park, a bike ride or shopping.